Extracted from
Dali's BlogEBITDA
Earnings Before I Tricked the Dumb Auditor
Some humors to cheer up your day.
EBIT
Earnings Before Irregularities and Tempering
Top-Down Investing
People with a bit of economics knowledge but scared shitless about accounting
Bottom-Up Investing
People who knows a bit about accounting but hates fiction
Unusual Market Activity
Something the management and directors always know NOTHING about
Averaging Down Investing
When you totally ignore the fact that you were wrong in the first instance
Doubling Up Investing
Making doubly sure that you are more than fully-invested when the stock eventually tanks
CEO
Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO
Chief Fraud Officer
Second Board
What Second Board???
Margin Account
Shorter rope, tighter noose
Hedge Funds
"Institutionalised" margin accounts
NAV
Normal Andersen Valuation
NPAT
Never Pay Any Tax
EPS
Eventual Prison Sentence
Federal Reserve Board
Bank of Japan on Prozac
Equity Research
As useful as yesterday's newspaper
Equity Analysts
Hopes no one discovers how average they are
Fund Managers
Sponges off the brains of analysts and strategists and call it their own
Unit Trusts & Mutual Funds
People who hope & pray that investors don't realize that more than 90% of them cannot outperform their respective indices
Chartists & Quants With Trading Programs
People who have given up trying to understand the stock markets
Short Term Investor
Someone who is in-and-out within 3 days or less
Long Term Investor
A short term investor who cannot get out profitably after 3 days
Bull Market
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
Bear Market
A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex
Off Balance Sheet Items
More important than items in the balance sheet, and represent things that really should be in the balance sheet
Momentum Investing
The fine art of buying high and selling low with the crowd
Value Investing
The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E ratio
The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the Market keeps crashing
Remisier
Someone who should have kept their previous job
Investor Protection
Padded walls in broking halls
Market Correction
The day after you buy stocks
Cash Flow
The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
Institutional Investor
Past year investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse
Economist
Someone who tells you why their predictions went wrong after every quarter, and proceeds to give a confident prediction for the next 3 quarters
Bursa Pursuit
Honing the art of trading warrants with less than 10 days to expiry
Bursa, Lion & Berjaya
Average but lucky buggers
China A-Shares
"A" for astronomical & absurd
HK H-shares
"H" for hapless & hibernating
Chinese Covered Warrants
Only type of China dolls approved by the wives
CDOs
Things you didn't know or understood 6 months ago
Super Link Houses
Things that didn't exist a year ago
Favoured: 0
